12 Rules For Life by Jordan B. Peterson
an antidote to chaos
Review
The book was given to me as a birthday present (it wasn’t on my list). It is written by author Jordan B. Peterson, a guy from deep American?/Canadian? countryside who became a psychologist and now is a star in western culture, I suppose.
The basic premise of the book:
life is suffering, and there is no way around it.
Author talks a lot about Christian emergence stories, WWII and, honestly, rants a lot about it in a not very engaging manner. He has some views that are not in line with the typical EU line of view (f.e. - women and men should not be equal; diversity is not a great thing, etc.). I don’t think of him as very radical, but something about his way of talking takes me back. I don’t think he’s got all it figured out and I would not become one of his followers, first of all, because he talks way too much about religion in this book.
The religion part also has its good side - I have never read a book that takes a side view of why we live in Christian world (and yes, we do, even though we don’t say so) and that religion actually is not a bad thing. It’s also way more deeper than sarcastic Elezier Yudkowsky might like to think and it provides life with standartized ethics and a very ancient knowledge. This book gave me some more respect to the religion that is around me. And I thank it for that.
The 12 rules and what I remember the most about them
1: Stand up straight with your shoulders back
Story about crabs -the one who dominates, rules and gets all the best: food, shelter, women. the one who loses, changes permanently and his role becomes to be a looser.
2: Treat yourselft like somebody you are responsible for
Have some empathy to yourself. imagine that you are your best friend and only you can help yourself in hard times.
3: Make friends with people who want the best for you
The same as in “you are no special” book. tell me who are your friends and I’ll tell you who are you. friends make up a lot of our worldview and by helping each other, we make the suffering a bit less.
4: Compare yourself to whom you were yesterday not to who someone else is today
5: Do not let your childern do anything that makes you dislike them
This is a good one. children, just like dogs, need to be trained, what is and what isn’t acceptable. by not disclipining your children, you are not making their lives better, only worse, because if you don’t do it in a safe home environment, somebody else will do in the harsh outside world.
Children must be kept accontable for their deeds and it is your responsibility as a parent to be decisive, honest and coherent.
6: Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
7: Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
8: Tell the truth, or at least - don’t lie
This is also a good one. lies are bad not only for the person you are liying to, but even more to yourself. if you are entangled in long term lies, it damages your health and more brutally - it makes you sink even deeper of this junk and telling truth becomes even harder.
It gets worse if you don not understand what is lies and what is truth in your life - if you don’t know how to listen to yourself. then you can spend your whole life in lies that “everything is great”, even though deep down you know it’s not so and the inability to tell truth to yourself has deprived you from taking action to change your life for the better.
9: Assume that the persone you are listening to might know something you don’t
People think they think, but they don’t. It’s mostly self-criticism that passes for thinking. True thinking is rare - just like true listening. Thinking is listening to yourself. It’s difficult. To think, you have to be at least two people at the same time. Then you have to let those people disagree. Thinking is an internal dialogue between two or more different views of the world.
You remember the past not so that it is accurately recorded, to say it again, but so that you are prepared for the future.
10: Be precise in your speech
No problems with this, this helps a lot to be clear and concise. less miscommunication, less misunderstandings, more clarity.
11: Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
a.k.a - flow. if people are mastering a skill that’s risky, enjoyable, they fall in love with, let them do it. Do not overprotect.
12: Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street
We all have bad days and only by being compassionate and honestly caring about each other, we can get through the suffering of life.
I’ll do my best to be honest and stand my ground, because these are my weak points that I am ready to fully embrace.